|
|
Apr. 16th, 2006 @ 01:13 am
|
|---|
|
I know things lately have been somewhat stressful. But I've been doing really good considering. I'm doing good in school I really like my classes even if some of them are stupid. But today I got into a fight with my friend and for once I'm actually kinda glad. I stood my ground. And I think thats what matters. I sat there and invited him out allllll week so that he wouldn't be home alone cause his great friends sold him out every night. And you know what he does? he tells me to get ready were going out and then calls me after I'm done and he should be here to basically sell me out!! And the worse part is that he sold me out for the people who do nothing but sell him out! I consider myself a good friend and this is what happens should I just end up being a regular sell out and a bitch? cause it seems to be working for everyone else to be mean. Like for instance my friend got mad cause I couldn't see a movie with her cause I had already made plans and I didn't want to be mean and sell my friends out. So the next morning she invites me somewhere that I could not attend for certain reasons that were completely valid. And she gets mad at me! Because I couldn't do something cause I could lose my job or get written up. And because that I made a promise to my friends to go out. I'm sorry that I'm fufilling my promises and looking out for myself but it just seems to be kicking me in the butt. So I'm def. not in the mood to talk to anyone so if you need me call someone who cares. |
|
|
Apr. 4th, 2006 @ 10:23 pm
|
|---|
Ok so I'm sick and it completely sucks. I'm stuck in the house doing nothing well I have stuff to do but my body is tired and all I want to do is sleep.. but unfortunately I can't! I think I have overslept. I can't wait for this to be over. I just started my first week of my spring semester which looks like its going to be a good one last qtr I had a gpa of 3.9! Impossible you say... especially since were talking about me its not and I have the paper to prove it!! ha ha. I can't believe I pulled if off while going out just about every night for the last month of my qtr. I am truly amazing. I find myself happy lately even when things go wrong I just somewhat brush it off. I think peoples hearts get broken every day why should mine be any different? I shouldn't have to burden everyone with my issues knowing they have some of their own. I'm trying to start up my own company and I know that this one should take a couple of months maybe a little longer. I already am half way through my first piece for the "company" or w/e you wanna call it lol. Its really pretty I'm hoping this isn't me just taking a long shot I think can do this... actually wait I know I can do this. I'm going to material world tomorrow and I'm uber excited!! for those who don't know material world is a convention at the convention center where all textile makers and people who sell stuff that fashion designers need go and fashion designers get to buy fabrics and look at upcoming trends. I'm going tomorrow for school but my real intention...to shop! Erin and I are going to stay after the group leaves to pick some stuff up. I need stuff for the skirts I'll be making hopefully they have cute embelishments that aren't crazy expensive! Well I gotta go its getting late and I have to get up early to dress professional to attend material world I'm a working girl now! lol
much love |
|
|
Feb. 23rd, 2006 @ 11:18 pm
|
|---|
|
Why is it that people tend to try to fix the impossible situations? The ones that can't be solved through the small attempts of conversation? Why is it that we try to fix the things that don't need immediate fixing..but the pain is so deep inside that you would give the world to try and fix it. If life were simple would it be worth living at all. And if it were would the outcome of a happy life be as greatly appreciated? Its a part of life that the people we want to notice us never do but how much of a repetitive situation is this? In the past month or so if I heard another friend say why can't she just notice me I'll start to pull hair. Why is it that people leave others in pieces? and don't leave them with some sort of glue to put themselves back together. Everyone seems to be striving for this ultimate status of fairytale romance. I'm walking around with this sudden realization, thanks to Jorge, that why bother for the people who don't bother. I worry too much about other people and never give myself a chance to worry about myself and things going on in my life. Everyone always comes first but when do I come first? Jorge will never realize how much he changed my outlook on this whole drama with just one simple sentance. If they want to Highschooldramatic then they can go ahead. Blame me for what ever you wish. But I'm content. |
|
Everything lately has been going very well. Fashion week stuff is moving along with the right speed that I need it to. And all the friends issues has been solved I believe or at least I've put them off for the time being. I recently recieved a message from a friend that got me seriously thinking. I haven't been happy with the single situation.. not because I wasn't happy being single its cause I craved something I once had. I realized I'm not being picky its just me summing every guy up to him. And sometimes it seems like no one can compare and no one can know me as well as he did. He knew everything to say and such. But I always fell for the "talkers". Its such a shame that it had to end in a bang. But seriously I have come to the conclusion that I'm no where near ready for a boyfriend. I can't commit knowing that every guy I meet has to live up to his standards. I'm sorry for those who I have hurt (meaning boys) in this process and I'm sorry that I'm so slow it took me till now to realize what I was doing. I think once I have found where I left my heart things will go back to normal...hopefully. |
|
Wow its like I'm mad and I can't even pinpoint what the one exact reason as to why is. It seems like the sums of everything going on just got my breaking point. But I still have faith that its going to be a good year lol. It's just friends I guess things aren't great forever. I feel like I've hit a certain level of thinking and they haven't reached it yet. Some of them have yet some of them lag behind in the race but in reality they think they are the people who are winning the race. Are we supposed to tell this person that their really last in the race? Just because you pay a few bills doesn't make you an adult it just makes you fianancially responsible for your actions. I hate the fact that people think just because they pay some not all of thier bills makes them mature. Or the fact that they live in their own place. That doesn't make you mature. You realizing that your faults are none other then your fault. And that if you can realize your mistakes an apologize for them and realize what you have done is wrong. That is what makes you an adult. If we deemed everyone an adult whom paid for thier bills then we would be saying a huge percentage of the population was mature. But when in reality most people don't get to that point in their post conventional stage. Grow up! |
| » Random nights I would never want to give up for the world... |
|---|
Happy super de duper late New years everyone! And boy was it a fun night. I think everything was pretty random from the pepole who attended the party to the people who played drinking games and all. I'm so glad all my friends seem to be getting along just fine with each other considering thier all from different parts of my life. I wouldn't want them to all get too close though because I find separation easier. Then I could talk to people about different things. I'm so glad that all of my friends have blessed my life with their presence and have all been so great. Although we have had our ups and downs in the end we all know how to laugh. Hopefully 2006 will be my year.. because last year def. wasn't.
So for the famous new years resolutions no one ever seems to keep...362 days left to make sure I don't break them..
1. (this one is stolen from Tammy) do something interesting every week. Something I wouldn't usually do like feed ducks, sky diving, ect.
2. put myself out there and not to be so conservative when it comes to dating. maybe who knows I can give someone a chance
3. do great in fashion week and finish my garment.
4. smile more live more and realize that life is way too short to stress anything
5. stop going through immature situations.. come on people were adults already
Jan. 3rd, 2006 @ 11:57 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
I'm a little overwhelmed and if your wondering as to why here goes..
this is all the stuff that I have due with in the next two weeks
- 2 acessory design projects
- a weaving project
- a tailored jacket
- a psychology presentation
- a term paper
- my psychology final
yea the list may be a tad short but let me tell you all those things are time consuming! I can't wait till this qtr is over I will finally feel free.......
Dec. 6th, 2005 @ 12:09 pm
|
| » can we say random...rannndom! |
|---|
Well last night had to be THE most random night ever. Well maybe not just the night the whole day was pretty weird.
-I skipped construction
-I went to target and best buy with pepi and michelle
-Figured that if pepi had an airhorn she wouldn't roll down the window
-Did 2 readings
-Went to a bank
-Had Starbucks two times
-Went to aeonflux
-Hit on the boy I liked
-Got rejected
-Went to Ihop with a bunch of people I don't know
-Rejection boy never showed although he said he would
-Went to play pool
-Lost twice
-Danced lots
-Salsa with Steve
-Had a beer
-I found out what they say is true..the people that you meet in college will change your life forever
-Told Pepi I would rather marry more then one man ha ha
-Got home at 4
Dec. 1st, 2005 @ 12:05 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
boys are amazing yet stupid at the same time
Nov. 24th, 2005 @ 07:10 am
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
I just came back from the movie Jarhead wow was that a heartbreaker. It at first seems like it would be funny but then you realize the reality of whats going on. I know I can't change anyones mind about joining or leaving or coming back. I told you all I totally support your decisions to leave. But that doesn't mean I won't get scared of you leaving. I remember when I saw the departure date I freaked how does one handle such news..oh i'm so excited! its impossible to take that and take it with happiness knowing that your bestfriend that youve known since you were little is going to go through things one can't explain. Things grown men cringe at, little boys dream about, and the worst is what men come back and fear. Your not coming back the same men that you leave us as. But remember I am proud of you all and love you very much. Words will never explain how I feel.
Nov. 23rd, 2005 @ 11:18 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
I am greatly dissappointed in mostly everyone. It's amazing how you talk about change but your not willing to. You say that you have a heart but do you..really do you? Every day pointless quizes are taken blogs about nothing are posted. I am not saying I am not guilty about this. But now its time for a change its time for a voice to be heard. I want to start a revolution but with the youth of America. You say your voice doesn't count. Its cause you don't believe you can be heard..its when you believe you can that you can. The reason this country is so great is because our freedom of speech its because everyone has a right to be heard but why do I feel like I'm stand at the back of crowd trying to speak and all I hear is noise. Nothing but meaningless noise. Two kids are scared out of thier minds their about to go somewhere that they don't know anything about with out family and with out love. What ever happened to compassion? Did it die out with the meaningless generation after generation of mindless television. What happened to the boys who dreamed of being jedis? what about the women who fought so hard for women to have a voice in this country? but yet you keep your eyes and mouths shut. not so you can't hear no see no evil. Its because your scared..and that i find you to be truly pathetic..and a dishonor the american name.
Nov. 16th, 2005 @ 11:49 pm
|
| » Around the world |
|---|
* (6) Blow Jobs - Amaretto Baileys Irish Creme and Whip Cream!
* (2) Jello Shooters
* (1) Apple Pie Jello Shot - apple juice and vodka with a lick of cinnamon
* (2) Mikes Hard Lemonaides
* (1) Margarita Shooter
* (1) Carribbean Drink - coconut rum and pineapple juice
* (2) Lemon drops
* (1) Cranberry shot
And yes they were allll mine! Crazy things happen when people drink such as...Ben makes out with train girl, bart gets some on bens bed, i find the worst kisser at the entire party...The whole weekend was pretty much kind of crazy!
Nov. 2nd, 2005 @ 10:05 pm
|
| » Halloween Night! |
|---|
Wow what a night. No it wasn't the drunken craziness or anything to that extent. But it was a bunch of friends just there to have a few good laughs while being dressed up. I was everyones favorite Porn Star, Heather was a French Maid, Jessica was either a vampire slayer or corpse bride, Jenny was dead sexy, Natalie was a widow, Jaime was nothing, Bob didn't dress up either but its ok people can't see him, and Tony was Peta pan. The night was greatly frustrating due to traffic and costume issues but it all worked out. The resturant was completely empty so we could be as crazy as we wanted...almost. Tony made a hilarious Peter Pan I don't think I could ever get this sight of him in tights erased from my memory lol. Things got weird with my ex he kept telling me how amazing he thought I looked the whole way home. I can't get back with him cause then I would probably be the biggest mess. But somehow when I talk to him it seems like he wants to. And theres times when I stand next to him or look at him and I feel nothing. But then theres times when I get this weird feeling..I'm not sure wheter its a how could you do that to me or I miss what we had feeling. I'm really hoping for the first one.
My friend told me something that I'm begining to believe..if you date one you date em' all. He thinks that I'm terrified of the whole relationship scene cause of all the stuff that I have gone through. After lots of thinking I'm thinking maybe hes right. For the longest time I put it off as just being picky..but how far can take picky? So I'm going to work on it. I have someone in mind..but I'm not saying just yet.
I went out last night with Izzy, Roman, and for a short while Ron. I missed them thier always good for a good laugh. Thier like family even if we fight we know a little while later we will be laughing at each other for something stupid.
Nov. 2nd, 2005 @ 10:07 am
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
"theres a hole in my soul and the one thing i have learned is that for every love letter theres another one burned" how true is that..it doesn't leave alot of room for hope does it?? 67 percent of all marriages in america fail? does any one know why? i look at him and see the only man that i have ever wanted but i know we aren't at the same level that we need to be at...things are going to change soon hopefully for the better..but change takes time and i think the window of time has closed. are you confused? yea i am too!
Oct. 23rd, 2005 @ 01:00 am
|
| » Its finally time for an update |
|---|
Well for all those who don't know I'll be staying in gainsville for ten days..and I'm on day five so your a little late for that update. Its been fun I kinda wonder what it would be like if I left to college?? I think it would be amazing I would probably have a totally different life. But then I wouldn't be going to the same school I'm at now and I really like it there although I'm getting close to people so that means drama will arise when I come back due to certain things and of course my habbit to always mess those things up. I got in a fight last night with one of my "best friends" that word best friends is starting to bother me I think for a while I am def going to refrain from its use. He came to the conclusion that my attitude drives him up the wall, that i think im superior to him, and that I'm a bitch. And boy did that hurt soo much I didn't want to sleep last night but when I fianlly fell asleep I didn't want to wake up till now 2 p.m. I like sleeping when I'm stressed its good sleep. But I don't think he realized how much he just hurt me and he still had the audacity to ask if i was still going on this road trip with him!! Why would I go on a road trip with someone who bascially just said they cant stand me? And of course in his usual nature he didn't finish the conversation and signed off! And then on the other had I had a conversation with a friend that was a loooooooong time over due. We finally had the conversation I've been wanting to have but well it didn't go exactly as planned. Some of the things he said as well hurt majorly but I didn't let him see that. Now were going to try to back to the way things were between us before things got messed up. But well I don't see it happening cause things never go back to "what they were". Other wise gainsville has been so much fun. The night that we got here we went to the beach for erins birthday. The beach was soo amazing and beautiful it was like 2 am and all the stars were out I wish everyone I knew was there to see such a beautiful thing. We had this amazing bbq with this lil grill that took like an hour to light but finally smart me and erin got it to work. We at smores then left...2 hour drive back! We went to sleep somewhere between 7 and 8 am. Woke up pretty early considering how late it was. We got up went to moes for food..yumm!! Then to the mall...got some stuff and then headed off to the dorms and home. We later decided to go party hunting?!?! yea supposedly they just drive around and then find an apartment building that has a party and just invite themselves soo we went to this one in lex. It was soo fun..it was randy, andy, taryn, erin, bart and I. So five girls and one guy so the guy walked up to bart and asked how much each one of us was. He tried to sell us for 20 a piece and then somehow taryn was free! ha ha!!But then Benjamin Jay Little...thats the guys name. Became our new pimp. We all got our own names ..very interesting. He was cute 24 and we also had an amazing conversation considering we were at a party. He wanted us to go to the beach with him the next morning I wanted to go but the drive was far. I kinda wish I could still talk to him he was really cool. Only fall back is hes in the Army and has been for five years. He sorta reminds me of someone..someone I don't need remind of. Andy and I went the next day to a fabric store and everyone loved the skirt I made soo i had to start on erins and then andys. Monday I went to age of dinosours and some family movie class...yea we watched the cosby show it was fun i sewed the whole time I was in class then we ate at noodle bar which was really good. Then I stayed in the dorms the whole time hanging out with different people coming in and out. I came back to the apartment and cooked for andy and taryn..soo yummy! We watched fever pitch ..it was soo cute...but yet so typical of a girlie movie. Well I'm going to go now this entry is already too long but so much has happened. But I still have a smile on my face!
Sep. 27th, 2005 @ 01:49 pm
|
| » Cutting out the middle man |
|---|
All in all my week has been good. Classes are finally building up the amount of work to preposterous level. I have no motivation to do any of these things what so ever. Social life in school seems to of have improved I found some cool people that I can chill with..too bad thier all boys. I know it sounds fun..but you can only take so much ass staring in one lifetime. And I already had enough of that. I like one of them and I have for a long time I'm not going to mess it up this time. Besides he has a girlfriend and I totally respect that unlike other people believe...but not to stray away from the topic and ressurect the past. I miss my girlies soo much I wish they were here at home to make life simplier. I find my temper rising alot with a certain person no matter how hard I try maybe I need a break. I find myself growing more and more concious about my looks. I feel I can't leave the house a wreck anymore. I have to look perfect I go everywhere I go.
Funny story: The other day I was sitting at a table with two of my fashion student friends and max and his friend sit down. My two friends leave..I'm pretty sure it was just a coincidence. But the guys are convinced its cause they are geeks. Its funny how my school has got all the girls who were best dressed and pretty much pretty popular and then on the other hand the other majors are film, visual effects, graphic design...are you getting where I'm going..the geeky people the ones that were made fun of in High School. Its like our school cut out the middleman..you know the people who didn't have a group and were just there to witness it all.
Well its getting late and I have to go to work in the morning I'll probably have trouble sleeping tonight...I saw the Emily Rose story..eek!
Sep. 10th, 2005 @ 01:48 am
|
| » being ego centric |
|---|
It was a thursday night and of course Andy and I were doing our usual ice cream and big brother routine when the most shocking episode aired. I just found how amazingly ego-centric people are..Well I always knew it but lately I'm begining to realize how much so. I thought you were supposed to grow out of that pre-operational stage at the latest 7 years old. I guess someone I know has recently crossed my mind alot and the girl hes dating. She is subjecting herself to being hurt by someone she loves. What kind of life is that to live? I know I don't know everything about thier situation but does love really blindside you that much? And she has done everything she could to make everything about her. She researched, sucked up, waited, watch him hurt her, hurt other people..but in all that she doesn't care about anything except herself. I thought when we get older we thought about things and took other people into consideration. I know she's gotten rid of me as much as possible. I never understood why girls feel so threatened. So to get the guy I want I suddenly need to get egocentric, research him, get rid of the girl he loves,...is this a game? Do only the winners win because they make everything about them?
So switching topics school is good I just finished all my midterms and it feels so good to have them done. I now have to start on my finals projects lol or I'll never finish!! Everyone is finally gone back to college or driving up with in the next few days. It will be interesting to do this all over again and have to hang out with a different crowd.
Aug. 19th, 2005 @ 03:30 pm
|
| » Hey Hey Hey its time for an update |
|---|
So life is running somewhat smoothly...people are getting along...or at least pretending for the most part. School is a major stress in my life but only 2 weeks left till my "mini" summer where I'm going to party it hard!!! I can't wait till busch gardens trip I really need it..um...i have four drawings to do and I'm waiting till I'm in the mood...
Ok big news the weirdest thing happened to me...my ex of sophomore year Jaime as we all know him...has musterd up enough courage to say how sorry he is for ever hurting me...for ever tear and ever pain. Wow..are you amazed I am!! I guess people do grow up...who knows maybe we will end up somewhat friends. It seems like this year is the year of closure...closure from past "loves"...I think its just what the doctor ordered...one more closure to go..but I doubt that one will come any time soon...I now feel like I can wake up with out any extra baggage or thoughts drowing out my ability to see clearly...for so long I've wondered why? but now i dont need to its in the past the books are shut..and I'm moving on...
Jun. 2nd, 2005 @ 12:39 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
its now four thirty five in the morning and im dying my hair..go ahead ask me whats wrong with me...yea plenty lol...wait till you all see it!!!
May. 20th, 2005 @ 04:41 am
|
| » Fashion Week!!! |
|---|
How amazing although I'm running on a few hours of sleep and like 20 redbulls the past three days have been amazing. I now understand why I wanna do fashion. I worked 6 fashion shows in fashion week and met incredible people. The models were all very nice I even made really good friends with one. She owns a modeling agency in Puerto Rico and wants me to go visit her so she can show me around and then party since the legal drinking age is 18 there. I met some amazing designers my personal favorite had to be Luis Perdomo. he just knows how to fit a girls body and his finale dress was his best friends wedding dress!! and the model was the girls best friend also..so cute! Well its getting late and I'm hungry!
love ya
May. 14th, 2005 @ 02:31 am
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
yellowluv143's journal